In the debate over the relative benefits and pitfalls of gaming, the most interesting discussion is whether healthy people can be “addicted” by video games. A simple yes or no answer really doesn’t cut it, as this is a nuanced and complicated issue. First, there is the definition of terms. Can we even agree on what it means to be healthy or addicted, when not even medical professionals agree, let alone recognize game abuse as addiction?
News outlets and non-gamers are surprised when they discover the majority of gamers are physically healthy…that they get exercise and have other interests. We’ve all heard the abuse horror stories in which someone neglects themselves and everything around them to live constantly in the game. However, this group of game abusers comprises only about 10-20% of gamers…an extreme sub-group. This is not to say that the families and friends of the 80-90% of relatively responsible gamers don’t get worried or ticked off during binge gaming sessions, or that personal health doesn’t take a backseat when the hot new game comes out. But for most gamers, a descent into the game world for the eternal “five more minutes” isn’t a permanent one. It’s just incredibly annoying to those left holding the reality bag while the gamer enjoys escape and adventure.
Gamers and non-gamers agree that the most prominent abusers of video games have issues that pre-date and actually make them more vulnerable to the temptation to abuse video games. These issues commonly include abuse of drugs and alcohol, abuse of other behaviors like gambling and porn, or struggling with a mental health or disability issue like depression, Asperger’s, ADD, etc. Even the medical community is now recognizing the incredible power of video games to distract a person so deeply that they can be used in place of painkillers. It’s not surprising that video games can be used to self-medicate and avoid issues that cause mental and emotional distress.
But is a healthy person likely to get caught by the desire to abusing video games for mood control, relationship escape, self-esteem, etc.? Could a healthy person become so dependent on entertainment that he or she lets real jobs, relationships, school, et al decay for lack of attention? Again, back to our definition of healthy. And here’s why I think healthy people do abuse video games, temporarily, or long term:
First, because so many stories I hear with “healthy” gamer abusing games includes gaming triggering the discovery of an underlying problem that was previously overlooked. A healthy gamer may have dealt with being the Adult Child of an Alcoholic in a balanced way for years. Or experienced only a very slight depression, thanks to an extremely active lifestyle. But then the games come along and suddenly, that balance is tipped. Small problems are amplified by neglect, and there is a downward spiral that occurs. This gamer was healthy, but that health was based on a delicate balance. The game acted as a sort of litmus to expose the problem.
Second, because “healthy” gamers who abuse video games sometimes do so for the perceived social cache of an extreme gamer. In essence, they get their self-esteem from abusing games. In a way, it is a kind of Hitler Youth mentality, where the gamer believes that their extreme dedication to the games, and prowess in playing them, makes them better than others. Hardcore gaming to them is all about being among the elite of a group which is superior to non-players and casual players. They believe that people who don’t understand or buy into their cultural and intellectual bullying are actually the source of all their problems. There are even people who claiming to speak for the game industry who promote this mindset and look forward to a halcyon future when non-gamers die off. These gamers may be healthy, but they are not healthy. The people who expouse this view of gamers and gaming are more harmful to their own cause than that freak extremist making up fake anti-gaming organizations.
And thirdly, healthy gamers can abuse games because human beings are eternally optimistic, and tend to cling to the self-image of health even when in obvious trouble. We never want to give up hope, or the belief that any issue we currently suffer with is only a temporary blip. Healthy gamers who end up abusing games usually mention only in parenthesis or footnotes that there was some sort of unusual crisis in their life when they started abusing games. A death in the family, a job loss, etc. Added to the eternally belief that we can stop doing whatever self-destructive behavior we’re engaged in at any time, because we are in total control, and you again have to ask, is this healthy? The most common words I’ve heard while researching game widowhood from listening gamers are “of course people get addicted to games, I have friends who are addicted…but I’m not.” Perhaps the person speaking has a problem, and perhaps he or she doesn't. But the rose-colored glasses aren't useful when an accurate self-check is required. We can't fix our own problems, whatever their nature, if we refuse to look at ourselves honestly now and then.
Healthy gamers are physically fit, find pleasure in many activities both electronic and not, have a happy enough circle of family & friends, and seek personal growth outside the virtual world as well as in. They have a realistic picture of the universe around them, and can see things from other perspectives than their own. They have many resources for dealing with crisis. They know both the risks and rewards of gaming, and balance them maturely. Millions and millions of people enjoy video games as simply another entertainment option. But there will be the small million among the tens of millions, who lose their grip, abuse the games, and then defend ruining it for everyone else by claiming that they, the abusers, are the normal and healthy ones.
Saturday, September 20, 2008
Thursday, September 18, 2008
The Trifecta of Blame
OK, so it’s a normal human thing to try to blame anyone and everyone else for personal problems, rather than taking responsibility. I get that big time. I’ve heard blame flying at the games industry for addicting people to video games on purpose, I’ve heard blame flying at gamers for not playing responsibly, and I’ve heard blame thrown at non-gaming friends and family for being evil, clueless and whiny, thus making normal relationships extremely unattractive compared to gaming.
So whose fault is this whole “game addiction” thing? First, let’s clarify three things. One, “game addiction” is actually “game abuse.” Second, only a small percentage of people who play video games abuse them to the point where they display addiction-like symptoms. And third, “game addiction” is not a real diagnosis, according to the American Medical Association. So counselors and medical personnel out there talking about “game addiction” are talking about a socially debated behavior using a slang verbal handle, not about a scientifically proven medical or mental issue.
Does game abuse exist? Absolutely. But no one knows exactly what percentage of gamers abuse, and thus make the majority of gamers look bad. I’ve heard educated guesses that fall between ten and twenty percent, and that sounds about right to me, based on the percentage of game widow case studies out of hundreds I’ve seen. Only about ten to twenty percent of the people I interviewed and gathered stories about online and off would have a problem severe enough to attract the “addicted” label and an invitation to frighten people with their example in a media story. The majority of game widows are actually dealing with much milder forms of irresponsible play and simple confusion over video game issues, not the serious abuse.
So is anyone truly to blame for game abuse? Well, yes, but not really in the finger-pointing blockbuster movie villain way. Game abuse is an unforeseen consequence of the actions of three groups: the game designers, the gamers, and the game widows. Game designers made games as fun and emotionally gripping as they could – this is called “replay value” in the industry. They want the game to be so fun you play it not just once, but over and over again. The movie industry shoots for the same goal…movies so good that you not only go to see them in the theater, but you also buy the DVD and watch the same movie multiple times.
The designers succeeded so fantastically that gamers blew through save points, played through the night, and chose games over other entertainment options. And a small percentage chose games over real life when the games became deep and rich enough to satisfy needs that weren’t being met in their real lives, or to engross them enough to forget real mental and physical pain. Then, the game widows (and widowers), angry with gamers for choosing games over more time spent with family, raged, cried, and generally attacked the gamers. This made real life a lot less safe and attractive to gamers already struggling with a virtual world that seemed more rewarding, exciting, and emotionally safe than real life.
So really, it became a perfect storm of unintended consequences. Good games, plus the eternal five more minutes, plus angry housewife…equals major temptation to abuse. So where do we go from here? Many advocate forcing the industry to take responsibility for stopping the madness. The industry definitely needs to acknowledge the problem in a way that limits their liability, but they can’t take the full burden of fixing game abuse. The industry can only take symbolic action. They simply have no way of controlling gamers once the product leaves their hands. Game widows, too, can only take good faith steps toward fixing the problem by remaining calm and taking a more measured and educated approach to increasing the pull of real life over games. The real power lies in the hands of the abusers. The abusers who abandon responsibility for self-gratification. The abusers who bring all gamers under suspicious and angry scrutiny for the actions of a few. The abusers who neglect, and worse, physically and mentally harm spouses, children and parents, just so they can stay in the game.
The blame percentage split amongst the players might be debatable, but it should be clear to everyone that 100% of the fix rests squarely on the shoulders of the gamers themselves. The game industry and families can be supportive of change, but they can’t force that change for any adult gamer. And let’s face it…even kids will choose for themselves. If adults force games out of the house as an “easy” fix, kids are going to sneak out of the house to play. It’s time to address the root of the issue instead of chasing definitions and blame.
So whose fault is this whole “game addiction” thing? First, let’s clarify three things. One, “game addiction” is actually “game abuse.” Second, only a small percentage of people who play video games abuse them to the point where they display addiction-like symptoms. And third, “game addiction” is not a real diagnosis, according to the American Medical Association. So counselors and medical personnel out there talking about “game addiction” are talking about a socially debated behavior using a slang verbal handle, not about a scientifically proven medical or mental issue.
Does game abuse exist? Absolutely. But no one knows exactly what percentage of gamers abuse, and thus make the majority of gamers look bad. I’ve heard educated guesses that fall between ten and twenty percent, and that sounds about right to me, based on the percentage of game widow case studies out of hundreds I’ve seen. Only about ten to twenty percent of the people I interviewed and gathered stories about online and off would have a problem severe enough to attract the “addicted” label and an invitation to frighten people with their example in a media story. The majority of game widows are actually dealing with much milder forms of irresponsible play and simple confusion over video game issues, not the serious abuse.
So is anyone truly to blame for game abuse? Well, yes, but not really in the finger-pointing blockbuster movie villain way. Game abuse is an unforeseen consequence of the actions of three groups: the game designers, the gamers, and the game widows. Game designers made games as fun and emotionally gripping as they could – this is called “replay value” in the industry. They want the game to be so fun you play it not just once, but over and over again. The movie industry shoots for the same goal…movies so good that you not only go to see them in the theater, but you also buy the DVD and watch the same movie multiple times.
The designers succeeded so fantastically that gamers blew through save points, played through the night, and chose games over other entertainment options. And a small percentage chose games over real life when the games became deep and rich enough to satisfy needs that weren’t being met in their real lives, or to engross them enough to forget real mental and physical pain. Then, the game widows (and widowers), angry with gamers for choosing games over more time spent with family, raged, cried, and generally attacked the gamers. This made real life a lot less safe and attractive to gamers already struggling with a virtual world that seemed more rewarding, exciting, and emotionally safe than real life.
So really, it became a perfect storm of unintended consequences. Good games, plus the eternal five more minutes, plus angry housewife…equals major temptation to abuse. So where do we go from here? Many advocate forcing the industry to take responsibility for stopping the madness. The industry definitely needs to acknowledge the problem in a way that limits their liability, but they can’t take the full burden of fixing game abuse. The industry can only take symbolic action. They simply have no way of controlling gamers once the product leaves their hands. Game widows, too, can only take good faith steps toward fixing the problem by remaining calm and taking a more measured and educated approach to increasing the pull of real life over games. The real power lies in the hands of the abusers. The abusers who abandon responsibility for self-gratification. The abusers who bring all gamers under suspicious and angry scrutiny for the actions of a few. The abusers who neglect, and worse, physically and mentally harm spouses, children and parents, just so they can stay in the game.
The blame percentage split amongst the players might be debatable, but it should be clear to everyone that 100% of the fix rests squarely on the shoulders of the gamers themselves. The game industry and families can be supportive of change, but they can’t force that change for any adult gamer. And let’s face it…even kids will choose for themselves. If adults force games out of the house as an “easy” fix, kids are going to sneak out of the house to play. It’s time to address the root of the issue instead of chasing definitions and blame.
Friday, September 12, 2008
Snapped Up Right Out of the Gate
Tolly Moseley, my publicist, had me all prepared for an underwhelming response to the publication of my book in the first week it was out. A wise, experienced woman.
So Game Widow published on September 1st, 2008, and the producers at Dr. Phil called on the 3rd to ask if I were interested in coming on the show. Several interviews later, and I've passed muster. It looks as though I'll actually be taping the show on 9/16, and making excuses about the camera adding twenty pounds in the first part of October. (Apparently the show airs about 2-3 weeks after it tapes, so they can edit out all the times I say "ya know.")
Exciting, yes. Nauseating, yes. A boring first couple of weeks, hardly! Also, I've now interviewed by email and phone with reporters from the Utah Statesman, Daily Milenio (huge newspaper in Mexico), and Austin American-Statesman, who were all very gracious and interested.
Thanks to everyone who stepped up to help this week so I could do a rapid change from work-at-home mom to work-everywhere-mom. And thanks to all of you who have already bought Game Widow, and spread the news to friends that it isn't just the personal story of a game widow, or some bitter tome of revenge.
Now if only Second Skin would come to my local theater on the night a babysitter is available, my happiness would be complete!
(Wendy Kays is the author of Game Widow, now available in all awesome online and offline bookstores. You can get more information at GameWidow.org.)
So Game Widow published on September 1st, 2008, and the producers at Dr. Phil called on the 3rd to ask if I were interested in coming on the show. Several interviews later, and I've passed muster. It looks as though I'll actually be taping the show on 9/16, and making excuses about the camera adding twenty pounds in the first part of October. (Apparently the show airs about 2-3 weeks after it tapes, so they can edit out all the times I say "ya know.")
Exciting, yes. Nauseating, yes. A boring first couple of weeks, hardly! Also, I've now interviewed by email and phone with reporters from the Utah Statesman, Daily Milenio (huge newspaper in Mexico), and Austin American-Statesman, who were all very gracious and interested.
Thanks to everyone who stepped up to help this week so I could do a rapid change from work-at-home mom to work-everywhere-mom. And thanks to all of you who have already bought Game Widow, and spread the news to friends that it isn't just the personal story of a game widow, or some bitter tome of revenge.
Now if only Second Skin would come to my local theater on the night a babysitter is available, my happiness would be complete!
(Wendy Kays is the author of Game Widow, now available in all awesome online and offline bookstores. You can get more information at GameWidow.org.)
Wednesday, September 3, 2008
Game Widow Book Release Event!
This Saturday, September 6th, Barnes & Noble in Woodinville, Washington is hosting the Game Widow Book Release Party at 7:00 p.m.! For anyone local to the Seattle area who would like to attend, this event is cool on two different levels:
First, it's a chance to hear a short exerpt of the book, and flip through it yourself to see why it's endorsed not only by Erin Hoffman (aka ea_spouse), Dr. Kimberly S. Young, and Dr. Walsh of the Institute on Media and Family, but also by Nick Yee and Jason Della Rocca, the Executive Director of the International Game Developers Association. And discuss the whole game widow phenomenon from your particular perspective with me, the author!
Second, Barnes & Noble isn't just hosting my book launch, but an entire day of local authors, including Ann Rule, who will be signing their books...for charity. A percentage of all the Local Authors Gala featured books sales will benefit Hopelink Literacy Programs. So you get to gratify your curiosity and do a good thing, all in one visit to the bookstore.
For those who can't make it to this particular event, but live in the Seattle area, there will be a second chance! On October 25th, I'll be at Third Place Books in Lake Forest Park, Washington. The address information for both the Woodinville Barnes & Noble and the Lake Forest Park Third Place Books events are at the bottom of this post...but first, I'm going to give you a list of all the scheduled authors for the Local Authors Gala this Saturday:
11:30 am - Leslee Tessmann, "Sacred Grief: Exploring a New Dimension of Grief"
12:00 pm - Carol Cassella, "Oxygen"
12:30 pm - Roger Yockey, "I Never Stopped Believing: The Life of Walter Hubbard"
1:00 pm - Arthur Sealls, "The Three Little Heroes"
1:30 pm - Cricket McRae, "Heaven Preserve Us"
2:00 pm - Susan Wiggs, "Just Breathe"
2:30 pm - Sheila Rabe, "Bikini Season"
3:00 pm - Molly Blaisdell, "Rembrandt and the Boy Who Drew Dogs"
3:30 pm - Donna Anders, "Sketching Evil"
4:00 pm - Ann Rule, "Smoke, Mirrors, and Murder"
4:30 pm - Leslie Rule, "Ghost in the Mirror"
5:15 pm - Anu Garg, "The Dord, the Diglot, and an Avacado or Two"
6:00 pm - Dan Pekarek, "Alcent Adventures" and "Alcent: The Ultimate Adventure"
7:00 pm - Wendy Kays, "Game Widow" Book Release Party!
Barnes & Noble - 18025 Garden Way NE, Woodinville, WA 98072 - (425) 398-1990
Third Place Books - 17171 Bothell Way NE, Lake Forest Park, WA 98155 - (206) 366-3333
(Game Widow is Wendy Kays' first book. Get more information on GameWidow.org. Game Widow is available through your favorite online and offline booksellers!)
First, it's a chance to hear a short exerpt of the book, and flip through it yourself to see why it's endorsed not only by Erin Hoffman (aka ea_spouse), Dr. Kimberly S. Young, and Dr. Walsh of the Institute on Media and Family, but also by Nick Yee and Jason Della Rocca, the Executive Director of the International Game Developers Association. And discuss the whole game widow phenomenon from your particular perspective with me, the author!
Second, Barnes & Noble isn't just hosting my book launch, but an entire day of local authors, including Ann Rule, who will be signing their books...for charity. A percentage of all the Local Authors Gala featured books sales will benefit Hopelink Literacy Programs. So you get to gratify your curiosity and do a good thing, all in one visit to the bookstore.
For those who can't make it to this particular event, but live in the Seattle area, there will be a second chance! On October 25th, I'll be at Third Place Books in Lake Forest Park, Washington. The address information for both the Woodinville Barnes & Noble and the Lake Forest Park Third Place Books events are at the bottom of this post...but first, I'm going to give you a list of all the scheduled authors for the Local Authors Gala this Saturday:
11:30 am - Leslee Tessmann, "Sacred Grief: Exploring a New Dimension of Grief"
12:00 pm - Carol Cassella, "Oxygen"
12:30 pm - Roger Yockey, "I Never Stopped Believing: The Life of Walter Hubbard"
1:00 pm - Arthur Sealls, "The Three Little Heroes"
1:30 pm - Cricket McRae, "Heaven Preserve Us"
2:00 pm - Susan Wiggs, "Just Breathe"
2:30 pm - Sheila Rabe, "Bikini Season"
3:00 pm - Molly Blaisdell, "Rembrandt and the Boy Who Drew Dogs"
3:30 pm - Donna Anders, "Sketching Evil"
4:00 pm - Ann Rule, "Smoke, Mirrors, and Murder"
4:30 pm - Leslie Rule, "Ghost in the Mirror"
5:15 pm - Anu Garg, "The Dord, the Diglot, and an Avacado or Two"
6:00 pm - Dan Pekarek, "Alcent Adventures" and "Alcent: The Ultimate Adventure"
7:00 pm - Wendy Kays, "Game Widow" Book Release Party!
Barnes & Noble - 18025 Garden Way NE, Woodinville, WA 98072 - (425) 398-1990
Third Place Books - 17171 Bothell Way NE, Lake Forest Park, WA 98155 - (206) 366-3333
(Game Widow is Wendy Kays' first book. Get more information on GameWidow.org. Game Widow is available through your favorite online and offline booksellers!)
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