The Trifecta of Blame

OK, so it’s a normal human thing to try to blame anyone and everyone else for personal problems, rather than taking responsibility. I get that big time. I’ve heard blame flying at the games industry for addicting people to video games on purpose, I’ve heard blame flying at gamers for not playing responsibly, and I’ve heard blame thrown at non-gaming friends and family for being evil, clueless and whiny, thus making normal relationships extremely unattractive compared to gaming.

So whose fault is this whole “game addiction” thing? First, let’s clarify three things. One, “game addiction” is actually “game abuse.” Second, only a small percentage of people who play video games abuse them to the point where they display addiction-like symptoms. And third, “game addiction” is not a real diagnosis, according to the American Medical Association. So counselors and medical personnel out there talking about “game addiction” are talking about a socially debated behavior using a slang verbal handle, not about a scientifically proven medical or mental issue.

Does game abuse exist? Absolutely. But no one knows exactly what percentage of gamers abuse, and thus make the majority of gamers look bad. I’ve heard educated guesses that fall between ten and twenty percent, and that sounds about right to me, based on the percentage of game widow case studies out of hundreds I’ve seen. Only about ten to twenty percent of the people I interviewed and gathered stories about online and off would have a problem severe enough to attract the “addicted” label and an invitation to frighten people with their example in a media story. The majority of game widows are actually dealing with much milder forms of irresponsible play and simple confusion over video game issues, not the serious abuse.

So is anyone truly to blame for game abuse? Well, yes, but not really in the finger-pointing blockbuster movie villain way. Game abuse is an unforeseen consequence of the actions of three groups: the game designers, the gamers, and the game widows. Game designers made games as fun and emotionally gripping as they could – this is called “replay value” in the industry. They want the game to be so fun you play it not just once, but over and over again. The movie industry shoots for the same goal…movies so good that you not only go to see them in the theater, but you also buy the DVD and watch the same movie multiple times.

The designers succeeded so fantastically that gamers blew through save points, played through the night, and chose games over other entertainment options. And a small percentage chose games over real life when the games became deep and rich enough to satisfy needs that weren’t being met in their real lives, or to engross them enough to forget real mental and physical pain. Then, the game widows (and widowers), angry with gamers for choosing games over more time spent with family, raged, cried, and generally attacked the gamers. This made real life a lot less safe and attractive to gamers already struggling with a virtual world that seemed more rewarding, exciting, and emotionally safe than real life.

So really, it became a perfect storm of unintended consequences. Good games, plus the eternal five more minutes, plus angry housewife…equals major temptation to abuse. So where do we go from here? Many advocate forcing the industry to take responsibility for stopping the madness. The industry definitely needs to acknowledge the problem in a way that limits their liability, but they can’t take the full burden of fixing game abuse. The industry can only take symbolic action. They simply have no way of controlling gamers once the product leaves their hands. Game widows, too, can only take good faith steps toward fixing the problem by remaining calm and taking a more measured and educated approach to increasing the pull of real life over games. The real power lies in the hands of the abusers. The abusers who abandon responsibility for self-gratification. The abusers who bring all gamers under suspicious and angry scrutiny for the actions of a few. The abusers who neglect, and worse, physically and mentally harm spouses, children and parents, just so they can stay in the game.

The blame percentage split amongst the players might be debatable, but it should be clear to everyone that 100% of the fix rests squarely on the shoulders of the gamers themselves. The game industry and families can be supportive of change, but they can’t force that change for any adult gamer. And let’s face it…even kids will choose for themselves. If adults force games out of the house as an “easy” fix, kids are going to sneak out of the house to play. It’s time to address the root of the issue instead of chasing definitions and blame.