It's a Problem, But Not For Me

The moment this site is posted, I will have an email inbox full of people writing to say things like “You obviously know nothing about games because I play a hundred hours a week and still have a life.” Protesters who think that because they “don’t have a problem” that a problem can’t possibly exist. Others will supportively say “yes, addictive behavior in gamers is real…I’ve seen it…but I don’t have a problem.”

Save your breath, people. Reason One: I have felt the addictive pull of video games AS A GAMER. I wasted three unplanned months on “research” (i.e. not being able to put down the controller) during the years it took me to get to publishing my book. Reason Two: Just because you don’t have a problem doesn’t mean that someone else doesn’t. At the risk of sounding like a Vulcan, your logic is flawed. Reason Three: People often look back on their lives when they’ve shaken unhealthy behavior and recognized that yes, they had a problem. They were just in denial.

I have a fourth reason for not wanting to hear from all the “normal gamers.” I believe in the social ten percent rule. It goes like this: In any given organization, ten percent of the members wear, say and do things that make the other ninety percent look really bad. They’ll attract media attention, speak for the group when they have no authority to do so, and thoroughly ruin the group’s public reputation. Any normal ninety-percenter will feel shame in openly admitting their membership, thanks to the bottom ten percent. Think about it. There’s an actively destructive bottom ten percent in every group you can think of. It doesn’t matter if you’re thinking of religion, of politics, of the neighborhood, or a profession. Someone, or a minority group of some ones, is currently working very hard to make sure you look like an idiot.

This is ten percent rule is absolutely true of people who play video games. The irony is that the very extreme, but very vocal, minority abusing video games are actually considered cool. Their bad behavior is ignored, excused, and even reverenced. Unless challenged, in which case, the apologetic excuses come out. I play for the educational value, to improve my reflexes, etc.

I believe more than ten percent of video gamers have some kind of problem related to their game play. Ask yourself, before you jump on anyone for bringing up the subject yet again, if you’re angry because the people who love you are angry, too. Do they complain about the time you spend playing video games? Are you angry because you feel a sense of guilt over the time you never meant to spend playing? Are you really worried under that anger that you’re failing at the responsibilities you should be taking care of during the time you play?

It’s time to stop making excuses. We play because video games are fun. When they stop being fun, for the gamer OR their friends and family, it’s time to take a step back and get serious. Video games should be fun - for everyone. At the very least, they shouldn’t be coming between people who care about each other. We live in a fast-paced, demanding world. Very few gamers can actually control their game time, balance other responsibilities, and treat those who surround them with respect when they’re squeezing out more than fifteen hours a week to play. We hurt more people than ourselves when we do. Our families suffer, the game industry suffers, and in the long run, we all suffer.

(Wendy Kays' first book, Game Widow, publishes September 1st, 2008. Sneak preview copies are available at GameWidow.org.)